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Passing Of My Partner, Michele: Lessons Learnt

September 5, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I have mentioned a number of times on this blog that I am the carer for my partner Michele who has cancer.  Sadly, Michele passed away on 25th August after fighting it for over 2 years.  She was a very brave and remarkable women who had to make enormous sacrifices in her life to protect her loved ones; but that is a story for another time. 

I have previously written about various cancer therapies and diets, some of which we have tried.  Several well meaning friends commented after Michele’s passing, “if only she had taken the chemotherapy”.  Well Michele did take herseptin, which is supposed to be a gentle alternative and even that made her violently ill, so I am not sure that she would have coped with the chemo anyway.

On the surface Michele did not appear to be a natural candidate for cancer.  She did not smoke, seldom drank alcohol, regularly exercised and took supplements.  However, Michele suffered enormous amounts of trauma and stress for very prolonged periods of her life.  Stress is known to be a contributing factor to cancer and when Michele was first diagnosed, she was already emotionally burnt out (adrenal fatigue).  Conventional cancer therapies and many alternative cancer therapies focus primarily on the physical, leaving out the emotional and spiritual.  We made the same mistake to a certain extent.  My very first postings on this blog was about the Hulda Clark Protocol which I concluded was very effective, but required so much work that you would need several full time carers in order to be able to do it properly.  The amount of work involved actually caused yet more stress.

I believe that despite Michele being an extremely strong women, she would have had trouble recovering from her cancer whatever treatment path she had chosen (be it conventional or alternative) because of the years of emotional damage.  If we could have a second chance, the thing that I would address first would be that emotional damage.  I would also advise anybody diagnosed with cancer who has suffered a lot of trauma, to deal with the trauma straight away (and possibly first). 

Michele hated her therapy, which caused her even more stress.  If Michele could have accepted the therapy, perhaps with an attitude of gratitude that she did at least have the choice, then I believe that she would have had a better chance of being alive now.  I don’t say this to criticise her, I say it in case it helps others in the same situation (whether following conventional or alternative therapies).  Also, in the long term, it would probably have cost us less money to address the emotional problems first as she would have probably responded better to her treatment and been a lot more co-operative in doing it.

Michele was highly respected and loved by me and by those that knew her and will be sadly missed.  I have pondered for several days as to whether I should write this or not, but I am confident that if this helps somebody in a similar position then she would want to me to write it.

Categories: Cancer · Health
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